I have been a Christian my entire life. However, I developed a personal relationship with God after a difficult season that I knew only he could help me through. While I knew a lot about God, it took some time to really get to know him. It’s not enough to simply know about God — he wants a relationship with you and me. You don’t have to go through a hard season like I did to begin working on your personal relationship with God. You can start right now.
If you have been a Christian your entire life, but you feel like your relationship with God is not where it should be, or if you are entirely new to Christianity, here are some things you should know as you begin growing closer to God.
What is a Personal Relationship with God?
Think of your relationship with the closest and most trusted person in your life. Your spouse, a close friend, or a parent may come to mind. A personal relationship with God is like that, only better. It involves true joy, fellowship, and love. God is committed to you, and you, in turn, are committed to God. The Westminster Shorter Catechism says, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.” In other words, the goal and primary purpose of our lives is to have a relationship with God.
What does it mean to know God?
If knowing God isn’t the same as knowing about God, then what does it mean to know him? Here’s an analogy. You are romantically interested in a guy that you’ve known since high school. You know where he lives, you have his phone number, you know some of his interests, and you may even have mutual friends. You talk every now and then but something still feels missing.
The thing is, you know a lot about this guy and you are acquaintances but you don’t have a true friendship with him. You’ve never had a deep conversation with him, never heard the intimate stories of his life, never seen him cry or become overjoyed in a moment of celebration. You don’t know his biggest pet peeves, or the many quirks he has developed over the years.
Similarly, to know God is to become more than acquaintances. It involves knowing his heart, his character, and his love. Knowing him means that you are able to recognize his voice and feel his presence. When we know God, he doesn’t feel distant or far away. Even when things get difficult in life, it means trusting the plan of God because he has proven to be trustworthy.
So, how can you begin to develop a deeper relationship with God?
1. Spend time with him through prayer and by reading his word
Prayer is the link that connects us with God – A.B. Simpson
If you want to develop a personal relationship with God, start by praying and reading his word consistently.
This is the most important way to grow your relationship with him because practically, no relationship would thrive without intentional communication. God is sovereign but he would never force us to spend time with him. Take time to read scripture and learn about God’s will. Pray and begin to experience his love.
Spending time with God won’t always feel like a spiritual high and chances are it may not be as exciting as the worship session during your Sunday morning church service. But, think about it, communicating with your significant other or even your close friends isn’t always exciting all the time but it is necessary and meaningful for those relationships to grow. Quiet time, praying, and studying the Bible may not always be exciting but it’s so worth it.
2. Talk to God everywhere
I know this one might seem a little weird. How can you talk to God everywhere? The scriptures describe it as praying without ceasing (1 Thess 5:16-18). Praying without ceasing means that we have a mindset of prayer and throughout our day, God is on our hearts. We think about asking God for help when we arrive at difficulty, or we thank God when we experience his goodness.
One of the many differences between our God, and the gods of other religions is that God is a personal God. He isn’t far away from us. He hears us and cares about even the small needs of our hearts.
Related: Such Faith: Encouragement for Christian Mothers from Hebrews 11
3. Pursue relationship with other Christians
Another way to develop a personal relationship with God is by pursuing a relationship with other Christians. I believe that our relationship with other Christians is important for developing our relationship with God. I love this verse that says, As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) We need each other. Learning and growing together with like-minded Christians helps us to grow closer to God.
I was a part of a group in college that held Bible study and worshiped together weekly. As each person shared about their experiences with God, the rest of the group was strengthened in their faith and closeness with God. Join a group of other Christians at your school, your church, or in your community. You never know just how much a relationship with Christians around you might strengthen your own personal relationship with God.
4. Listen to God’s voice
A relationship is a two-way street, right? So, while talking to God is important, listening to him is just as necessary. The truth is, God is always speaking but sometimes we fail to hear him. We can get distracted by so many things including social media, TV, our friends, and even work. Be sure that you’re not letting distractions get in the way of you hearing God’s voice.
However, It’s not enough to just listen, we should act in obedience when he speaks. James 1:22 says, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” I know “obedience” seems like such a harsh word. But, the Bible actually says that those who love God will obey his words. Obeying God has a lot to do with trusting him. When we don’t trust him, we tend to do the opposite of what he says to do. When we do trust him, we tend to listen and obey when he speaks.
Related: 7 Ways to Hear God’s Voice When He Seems Silent
5. Be willing to trust him with your heart
It’s tough to have a personal relationship with someone you don’t trust. And I get it, I’m pretty skeptical and sometimes I have difficulty trusting people. But, God is trustworthy. You can trust him with your whole heart and soul and be confident that he won’t ever let you down.
You can also trust him with the not-so-pc thoughts and emotions that sometimes go through your heart. You can tell him when you feel angry, or when you feel afraid; you can trust him when you’ve sinned or fallen short, and be confident that he won’t turn you away. You can tell him your deepest, darkest secrets and the hidden struggles you’d never want anyone else to know about. After all, he’s the only one who can heal you from those things to begin with.
God already knows how you feel inside. Don’t sugarcoat it with Christian phrases and cliches when deep down inside you are hurting and unsure of what to do. Tell God whatever you feel inside. He’s God – he’s not offended by the thoughts in your heart. Let him help you process them.
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6. Don’t succumb to comparison
There’s a huge problem of comparison within our world today. I guess it probably has to do with social media and our constant access to each other’s highlights of life. But, if you want to have a strong personal relationship with God, you have to overcome comparison. The grass is not always greener on the other side and the next person’s relationship with God won’t look exactly like yours. That’s okay.
I remember back in school, I met up with a group of friends for prayer. Some of them were praying loud, powerful prayers as they paced back and forth on the floor. Some others prayed eloquent prayers and I wondered why I couldn’t get my words together like theirs. But, God just wanted me to pray like me. He wanted to hear my voice, not my best imitation of someone else. Just like prayer, our relationship with God is not a competition. It’s not something to be compared. It’s a sacred fellowship between God and ourselves.
7. Learn how to depend on God
Finally, if you want to develop a personal relationship with God, learn how to depend on him. I’m a pretty self-reliant person and I like to do things on my own. But, I had to learn how to depend on God for everything when pursuing a relationship with God. This looked like, praying and asking him for guidance before making a decision, asking him to be with me throughout the day before leaving for work, or asking him to give me wisdom in my day to day conversations. Depending on God is crucial for developing a strong relationship with him.
Building a relationship with God is a process. It won’t happen all at once and sometimes you’ll think your relationship with him is strong one day and the next day you may wonder if he’s even there. But, that’s a part of the journey. Like any relationship, a relationship with God is complex. You’ll learn more about him and encounter him in deeper ways in each season. As you draw closer to him, he’ll reveal more of himself to you and teach you more about what he is like.
loved this thank you!
Thanks for reading!
Great piece! Am blessed.
Thank you!
Im thankful to have found your page I have always been curious about jesus life and death etc i went to extreme measures to try and learn as much about religion beliefs etc before truly knowing and experience a personal relationship with the lord in 2005 n then i was so so spiritually involved. Long story short alot of horrible life events happened i also have a long medical history of not so good type issues as well a SEVERE PANIC DISORDER PTSD DEPRESSION 2017 this grew to the MAXIMUM WITH FINDING MY YOUNG HEALTHY MOM PASSED IN MY HOME N THEN LOST A TWIN GRANGIRL…. HERE I AM TRYING TO BE HEALED OF MY MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES PANIC ATTACKS BCUZ I HAVE WITNESSED THE LORD HEAL CANCER PPL WITH LITERALL LIFE OR DEATG ISSUES. I AM NOT A FAITHFUL SERVANT OR READ MY BIBLE LIKE I NEED TO AND MY PRAYERS ARENT OFTEN I AM FULLY AWARE I BELIEVE THIS IS BLOCKING MY BLESSINGS N HEALING ? IFF SO IM ABOUT TO SHUT THE DEVIL DOWN HALLELUJAH
I really liked every word that you’ve written this helped me out a whole lot trying to get a that relationship with him thanks a million
You’re welcome, Melissa!
absolute joy to read, a great help to me in my walk with God. thank you
Sorry, im 40 years old… I grew up believing everything you’ve just said to find that it is half full of misconceptions. God is not an invisible best friend. He is not a replacement for normal human friendahips. You can’t count on him to ‘talk back’ … a relationahip with a book and the church, and a diety is not ‘personal’. I’ve been so disapointed the last 4-5 years realizing that Jeaus is Lord, not a personal best friend. Its made me realize I was treating him as imaginary and my himan relationships have suffered for it. I’ve becime extreemely angry at church because of these types of inacurate ‘overselling’ God hype.
Hi Nathanael, thank you for reading! I’m sorry that you believe that it’s not possible to have a personal relationship with God. Fortunately, we can. Think about it – in the garden of Eden, God walked around in the garden looking for Adam and Eve. He wanted a relationship with them. Throughout the entire Bible, we see God calling human beings into relationship with him. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and eventually, the people of Israel. Then, his call to fellowship extended to all of us. Our salvation is all about the fact that God wants to have a relationship with us. And, it’s most definitely personal. So personal that even the hairs on our head are numbered. So personal that he knows our end from our beginning. So personal that he would leave the 99 just to find the one.
You are correct in saying that we need human friendships along with our relationship with God. I am in no way denying that. I hope that was helpful!
Great words, l really hope to find a better relationship with God, thanks to you, hopefully l can be closer to God now!
I came across your website this morning when I Googled “how to develop a personal relationship with God” … I must say, I am not disappointed at all! I’ve signed up for your newsletter and I’m so excited to see what lies ahead for me and my personal relationship with God. I’ll keep in touch. Be Blessed!
So glad to hear that! Excited to have you as a part of the newsletter 🙂
I’m much grateful to you for allowing God to use you for this great job you are doing in the lives of God’s children. I think my life will never be the same again since I have discovered your article this morning. God bless you my dear sister
I’m so glad to hear that! Thank you for reading 🙂
This is a great read and blessed my heart tremendously. I have been following you for maybe a year or so, I am very grateful that I was introduced to your page.
So glad to hear that Tracy!
I was searching the internet on topic of building a relationship with God for a lesson I wanted to teach.. and found this enlighten
information. this was very helpful in assisting with the lesson plan.. much of which I knew, but some I had not thought of. I am finding on the subjects I want to know more about.. that the Lord is giving guidance to those who have blessed with His wisdom to share… continue to obey the Lord’s hand in your life as the blessing we received from your obedience will certainly return four fold to you.
11-And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the ]saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; EPHESIANS 4:11-12
I’m so glad this was helpful Marie! Thanks for taking the time to read & thank you for that word of encouragement 🙂
Love this article. I’m learning to develop my relationship deeper with God, & this article is full of useful things. Thank you for sharing!
Love this article. I’m learning to develop my relationship with God and this has some really useful tips.
Thank you for sharing!
you’re welcome!
I am a Christian and I have a relationship with him but every time I fall into sin even I ask for forgiveness I don’t even feel him but in my heart I know he is always there that’s why today I take time to read this content and it’s wonderful.
Thank you for sharing! Praying that God strengthens you in your faith 🙂
This was so full of information that I had never had the opportunity to read about. Thank you so much for opening my eyes to have a relationship with God my Father.
I’m so glad it was helpful!
WOw!! powerful definitely easier said than done. But I thank God hes helping me every step of the way.
Such a good topic I needed that let me no that God is concern about every detail of my life I want to no him more
Am blessed!
I am so grateful this as it is going to help me in developing a good relationship with my god
This article increased my knowledge, and helped me to come more closer to God. Thank you Shanté
Shante, you are doing very beautiful things with the gifts God has given you.
Thank you,
Eddie
Thank you, Eddie!
May God bless you and your efforts. This has been truly helpful. There is a lot of work I need to get through with my relationship with God but with these steps I have a more manageable and less daunting way of doing it. Thank you very much!
Kagiso, it can be daunting, can’t it??
But our relationship with God is so important and I’m glad that you found this helpful!
God bless the writer, I’m blessed with this
Very beautifully said! Thank you!
This was very helpful, thank you
I’m glad to hear that!
Thank you so much, it reached my heart. God bless you.
Amen 🙏🏾 Thank God for using you as a vessel to write this beautiful message from the Lord! God bless.
I happy to read your teaching about Jesus and how can I know Him personally, thankyou
Thank you so much for this♥️
This was truly awesome to read thank you so very much
I want to thank you for your articles and allowing God to lead you. I want to make sure I am doing everything God wants me to and not take him for granted so I appreciate your words.
Thank you Lori! I’m so glad this was helpful for you 🙂
its crazy i looked up this to help someone else and ended up in tears. i have fell so off track with God that its disgusts me because when i need him he is there why should he be put on the back burner. i got to do better
Thanks for the word of exhautation.
It never ceases to amaze me the power of GODS love and how he puts me in touch with people who can guide me on the road to salvation, thanks Shante, GOD BLESS YOU!
Awesome 💯
This is great I am blessed, God bless you.
Hii I’m male but I enjoyed reading this. Thankyou
Thank you sis Shane!
Thanks for this
It really helped
I’m indeed grateful
God bless you iwas watching a video on Aoc network about developing my relationship with God its a bout a girl who thought she had relationship with the Lord and she went to hell please watch it is a really helpful video to help us in our Christian Journey to remind us we need God every second of every day. and i really needed this. May God bless you ad your family continually in Jesus name we pray. Amen
This was such a great read. Thank you .
Thank you for the message. I use to attend church service at a tender age but now that I’m grown I really want to get closer to God.i believe only him can save me and only him can help me
Thanks for this topic. It’s strengthened my relationship with God.
Thank you for this article.
Thank You I Needed This.May God Continue To Bless and Use You.❤️🙏🏽❤️
This is a great peace of work. I like the way you delivered it. I am grateful I stumbled on to this. So like when I read he url I thought its probably for girls but as I read through it I felt enriched and enlightened even though I am a guy. Keep up the good work, I appreciate you.
Excellent overview of an unnecessarily difficult subject. Because I think we tend to mystify God (to our liking?), whereas Jesus Christ has brought him face to face to us. After all, he made us for himself!
He wants me to ‘walk in the light’ of his eyes, telling him every single raw thought, emotion and attitude; to Immediately own my neverending rebellions and name each one as the red-handed sin that it is. This is my relationship with God.
Powerful word we are learning thanks
Just the right article I was looking got! Thank you.
I have joy in my heart after reading your words. It’s exactly what I’ve been searching for. 70 years old, have always been a Christian but never had a personal relationship with God. I recently started attending a different church & taking classes to become a Daughter of the King but knew in my heart I needed to develop my relationship with God. I truly believe God has been leading me to all these things. I’ve always struggled with prayer, feeling like they aren’t good enough but you have explained it perfectly. God has used you to lift me up & encourage me. Thank you so much. I will be signing up for your newsletter. To God be the glory.
I’m so glad to hear that, Pamela!
I am glad God led me to your page. Your articles are just what I need: anointed and practical. Thank you for giving God your yes because you are helping me strengthen mine!
So glad to hear that!
Thank you! this was so helpful.
Thank god I found your blog, and thank you for writing this. Like others, I also want to reach out to god every day, even in the simple ways I can. This is a great blog to read. Keep on posting!
Encouraging article!
I am so thankful to have found your website Shanté. Because starting today my goal is to have a relationship with Jesus Christ!
Thank you
I learnt a lot and took notes
Oh, I loved it. Some of your stories here are just like mine, and yeah God is really amazing. Thank you for sharing you stories here. All glory belongs to God! 💗✨
It’s so much help me in my search to have a good relationship with God. Thank you so so much.
Wow I enjoyed reading this I felt that it was especially for me I was meant to read this loving warm text Am blessed 😪❤❤
Thank you very much for this.
God increase your knowledge and understanding of his word in Jesus name, Amen.