I developed a personal relationship with God after experiencing some trials and difficulties that I knew only he could help me overcome. While I knew a lot about God pretty much all of my life, it took a while to really come to know him. It’s never enough to just know about God because when hard times come, you can’t lean on your knowledge of him for strength. You have to lean on him. To be honest, you don’t need to experience a tough situation to begin developing a personal relationship with God, you can start right now.
So, if you’re anything like I was and you know all the things about church and Christianity but you feel that your relationship with God is lacking, I want to guide you through the steps I took as I began to grow closer to God. I also want you to know that a personal relationship with God is not a far off thing that only your pastor or spiritual leader can attain. God wants to know each of his children intimately, and that includes you.
What is a Personal Relationship with God?
A personal relationship with God is just like a relationship with anyone else in your life. It is fellowship, love, and trust between you and him. It means to know him and to be known by him. It’s much more than just going to church or even reading our Bibles. We were created for relationship with God. In fact, it’s our primary purpose in life.
What does it mean to know God?
If knowing God isn’t the same as knowing about God, then what does it mean to know him? Here’s an analogy. There’s a guy in your life and you have a crush on him. You’ve known him since high school, you know where he lives, you have his phone number, you know some of his interests, and you may even be friends with some of the same people. You talk every now and then but something still feels missing. What’s missing is that you’ve never had a deep conversation with him, you’ve never heard him tell stories about his life, you’ve never seen him cry or become so overjoyed in a moment of celebration. You don’t know his biggest pet peeves or the little quirks about him most people have yet to experience.
It’s the same way with knowing God. Sure, you might have known about God all your life through church and your Christian community, but knowing him on an intimate level is different.
So, how should you begin to develop a deeper relationship with God?
1. Spend time with him through prayer and by reading his word
Prayer is the link that connects us with God – A.B. Simpson
If you want to develop a personal relationship with God, start by praying and reading his word consistently. This is the most important way to grow your relationship with him because practically, no relationship would thrive without intentional communication. God is sovereign but he would never force us to spend time with him. So, we have to want to and actively pursue it ourselves.
The thing is, spending time with God won’t always feel like a spiritual high and chances are it may not be as exciting as the worship during your Sunday morning church service. But, think about it, communicating with your significant other or even your friends isn’t always exciting all the time but it is necessary and meaningful for those relationships to grow. Quiet time praying and studying the Bible may not always be exciting but it’s so worth it.
2. Talk to God everywhere
I know this one might seem a little weird. How can you talk to God everywhere, or as the scripture says, “pray continually?” Pretty much, this means that you should always have a mindset of prayer and God should always be first in your heart even throughout the day. So, when you have a tough task to complete at work, your first thought is to ask God for help. Or, when something great happens for you, the first thing you do is thank God.
I love that God is a “personal God,” meaning that he isn’t far away and only answers when you have a spiritual need. Actually, last week I was searching for my missing digital pen, and couldn’t find it anywhere. I prayed and a few minutes later I found it in a random basket of papers I never would have thought to look in! God is with us all the time and he wants to hear from us about all things – the good, the bad, the ugly, the big, and the small.
3. Develop a relationship with others
I believe that our relationship with others is important for developing our relationship with God. I love this verse that says, As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) We need each other. Learning and growing together with like minded Christians help us to grow closer to God.
I was a part of a group in college that held Bible study and worshiped together weekly. As each person shared about their experiences with God, the rest of the group was strengthened in their faith and closeness with God. Join a group of other Christians at your school, your church, or in your community. You never know just how much a relationship with Christians around you might strengthen your own personal relationship with God.
4. Listen to God’s voice and practice obedience to his word
A relationship is a two-way street, right? So, while talking to God is important, listening to him is just as necessary. The truth is, God is always speaking but sometimes we fail to hear him. We can get distracted by so many things including social media, TV, our friends, and even work. Be sure that you’re not letting any distractions get in the way of you hearing God’s voice. I can go into more on hearing God’s voice but I’ll save that for another article.
It’s not enough to just listen, we should act in obedience when he speaks. I know obedience seems like such a harsh word. But, the Bible actually says that those who love God will obey his words Obeying God has a lot to do with trusting him. When we don’t trust him, we tend to do the opposite of what he says to do. When we don’t trust him, it’s also usually because we haven’t yet developed a deep relationship with him.
5. Be Willing to Trust Him with your heart
Let me tell you this, God is trustworthy.
It’s tough to have a personal relationship with someone you don’t trust. And I get it, I’m pretty skeptical and sometimes I have difficulty trusting people. But, let me tell you this, God is trustworthy. You can trust him with your whole heart and soul and be confident that he won’t ever let you down.
You can also trust him with the not-so-pc thoughts and emotions that sometimes go through your heart. You can tell him when you feel angry, or when you feel afraid; you can trust him when you’ve sinned or fallen short, and be confident that he won’t turn you away. You can tell him your deepest, darkest secrets and the hidden struggles you’d never want anyone else to know about. After all, he’s the only one who can heal you from those things to begin with.
God already knows how you feel inside. Don’t sugarcoat it with Christian phrases and cliches when deep down inside you are hurting and unsure of what to do. Tell God whatever you feel inside. He’s God – he’s not offended by the thoughts in your heart. Let him help you process them.
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6. Don’t compare your relationship with God to that of others
There’s a huge problem of comparison within our world today. I guess it probably has to do with social media and our constant access to each other’s highlights of life. But, if you want to have a strong personal relationship with God, you have to overcome comparison. The grass is not always greener on the other side and the next girl’s relationship with God won’t look anything like yours.
I remember back in school, I met up with a group of friends for prayer. Some of them were praying loud, powerful prayers as they paced back and forth on the floor. Some others prayed eloquent prayers and I wondered why I couldn’t get my words together like theirs. But, God just wanted me to pray like me. He wanted to hear my voice, not my best imitation of someone else. Just like prayer, our relationship with God is not a competition. It’s not something to be compared. It’s a sacred type of fellowship between God and ourselves.
7. Learn how to depend on God
Finally, if you want to develop a personal relationship with God, you should learn how to depend on him. I’m a pretty self-reliant person and I like to do things on my own. But, I had to learn how to depend on God for everything when pursuing a relationship with God. This looked like, praying and asking him for guidance before making a decision, asking him to be with me throughout the day before leaving for work, or asking him to give me wisdom in my day to day conversations. Depending on God is crucial for developing a strong relationship with him.
Developing a relationship with God is a process. It won’t happen all at once and sometimes you’ll think your relationship with him is strong one day and the next day you may wonder if he’s even there. But, that’s a part of the journey. Like any relationship, a relationship with God is complex. You’ll learn more about him and encounter him in deeper ways in each season. As you draw closer to him, he’ll reveal more of himself to you and teach you more about what he is like.
loved this thank you!
Thanks for reading!
Great piece! Am blessed.
Thank you!
Im thankful to have found your page I have always been curious about jesus life and death etc i went to extreme measures to try and learn as much about religion beliefs etc before truly knowing and experience a personal relationship with the lord in 2005 n then i was so so spiritually involved. Long story short alot of horrible life events happened i also have a long medical history of not so good type issues as well a SEVERE PANIC DISORDER PTSD DEPRESSION 2017 this grew to the MAXIMUM WITH FINDING MY YOUNG HEALTHY MOM PASSED IN MY HOME N THEN LOST A TWIN GRANGIRL…. HERE I AM TRYING TO BE HEALED OF MY MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES PANIC ATTACKS BCUZ I HAVE WITNESSED THE LORD HEAL CANCER PPL WITH LITERALL LIFE OR DEATG ISSUES. I AM NOT A FAITHFUL SERVANT OR READ MY BIBLE LIKE I NEED TO AND MY PRAYERS ARENT OFTEN I AM FULLY AWARE I BELIEVE THIS IS BLOCKING MY BLESSINGS N HEALING ? IFF SO IM ABOUT TO SHUT THE DEVIL DOWN HALLELUJAH
I really liked every word that you’ve written this helped me out a whole lot trying to get a that relationship with him thanks a million
You’re welcome, Melissa!
absolute joy to read, a great help to me in my walk with God. thank you
Sorry, im 40 years old… I grew up believing everything you’ve just said to find that it is half full of misconceptions. God is not an invisible best friend. He is not a replacement for normal human friendahips. You can’t count on him to ‘talk back’ … a relationahip with a book and the church, and a diety is not ‘personal’. I’ve been so disapointed the last 4-5 years realizing that Jeaus is Lord, not a personal best friend. Its made me realize I was treating him as imaginary and my himan relationships have suffered for it. I’ve becime extreemely angry at church because of these types of inacurate ‘overselling’ God hype.
Hi Nathanael, thank you for reading! I’m sorry that you believe that it’s not possible to have a personal relationship with God. Fortunately, we can. Think about it – in the garden of Eden, God walked around in the garden looking for Adam and Eve. He wanted a relationship with them. Throughout the entire Bible, we see God calling human beings into relationship with him. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and eventually, the people of Israel. Then, his call to fellowship extended to all of us. Our salvation is all about the fact that God wants to have a relationship with us. And, it’s most definitely personal. So personal that even the hairs on our head are numbered. So personal that he knows our end from our beginning. So personal that he would leave the 99 just to find the one.
You are correct in saying that we need human friendships along with our relationship with God. I am in no way denying that. I hope that was helpful!
Great words, l really hope to find a better relationship with God, thanks to you, hopefully l can be closer to God now!
I came across your website this morning when I Googled “how to develop a personal relationship with God” … I must say, I am not disappointed at all! I’ve signed up for your newsletter and I’m so excited to see what lies ahead for me and my personal relationship with God. I’ll keep in touch. Be Blessed!
So glad to hear that! Excited to have you as a part of the newsletter 🙂
I’m much grateful to you for allowing God to use you for this great job you are doing in the lives of God’s children. I think my life will never be the same again since I have discovered your article this morning. God bless you my dear sister
I’m so glad to hear that! Thank you for reading 🙂
This is a great read and blessed my heart tremendously. I have been following you for maybe a year or so, I am very grateful that I was introduced to your page.
So glad to hear that Tracy!
I was searching the internet on topic of building a relationship with God for a lesson I wanted to teach.. and found this enlighten
information. this was very helpful in assisting with the lesson plan.. much of which I knew, but some I had not thought of. I am finding on the subjects I want to know more about.. that the Lord is giving guidance to those who have blessed with His wisdom to share… continue to obey the Lord’s hand in your life as the blessing we received from your obedience will certainly return four fold to you.
11-And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the ]saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; EPHESIANS 4:11-12
I’m so glad this was helpful Marie! Thanks for taking the time to read & thank you for that word of encouragement 🙂
Love this article. I’m learning to develop my relationship deeper with God, & this article is full of useful things. Thank you for sharing!
Love this article. I’m learning to develop my relationship with God and this has some really useful tips.
Thank you for sharing!
you’re welcome!
I am a Christian and I have a relationship with him but every time I fall into sin even I ask for forgiveness I don’t even feel him but in my heart I know he is always there that’s why today I take time to read this content and it’s wonderful.
Thank you for sharing! Praying that God strengthens you in your faith 🙂
This was so full of information that I had never had the opportunity to read about. Thank you so much for opening my eyes to have a relationship with God my Father.
I’m so glad it was helpful!
WOw!! powerful definitely easier said than done. But I thank God hes helping me every step of the way.
Such a good topic I needed that let me no that God is concern about every detail of my life I want to no him more
Am blessed!
I am so grateful this as it is going to help me in developing a good relationship with my god
This article increased my knowledge, and helped me to come more closer to God. Thank you Shanté
Shante, you are doing very beautiful things with the gifts God has given you.
Thank you,
Eddie
Thank you, Eddie!
May God bless you and your efforts. This has been truly helpful. There is a lot of work I need to get through with my relationship with God but with these steps I have a more manageable and less daunting way of doing it. Thank you very much!
Kagiso, it can be daunting, can’t it??
But our relationship with God is so important and I’m glad that you found this helpful!
God bless the writer, I’m blessed with this
Very beautifully said! Thank you!
This was very helpful, thank you
I’m glad to hear that!
Thank you so much, it reached my heart. God bless you.
Amen 🙏🏾 Thank God for using you as a vessel to write this beautiful message from the Lord! God bless.
I happy to read your teaching about Jesus and how can I know Him personally, thankyou
Thank you so much for this♥️
This was truly awesome to read thank you so very much
I want to thank you for your articles and allowing God to lead you. I want to make sure I am doing everything God wants me to and not take him for granted so I appreciate your words.
Thank you Lori! I’m so glad this was helpful for you 🙂
its crazy i looked up this to help someone else and ended up in tears. i have fell so off track with God that its disgusts me because when i need him he is there why should he be put on the back burner. i got to do better
Thanks for the word of exhautation.
It never ceases to amaze me the power of GODS love and how he puts me in touch with people who can guide me on the road to salvation, thanks Shante, GOD BLESS YOU!
Awesome 💯